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The CSA

Grays_1890

Grays_1890

Barry Daines
So here we go

I have casual agreement with my ex to have my son every other weekend for Friday - Sunday, this along with a week with my son in summer, extra for Christmas and bank holidays etc I have him well over the 52 days shared care.

Also as part of our casual agreement I give her £360 a month maintenance.

She has now gone to the CSA claiming I don't meet the minimum for shared care and therefore its no sole care and I should pay more. The CSA are saying I should pay £400 but as a result of going through them I pay £20 a month fee and she loses 7% oh her share in fees, so she gets £372.

When I spoke to the CSA they asked my case in which I explained the 52+ days a year, she then re disputed it and on the spot the CSA ruled sole care and I would pay more (the money is not the issue BTW). The CSA then said "your ex has mentioned you are picking your son up at the weekend so maybe you can have one last go at agreeing it on your own", to which I said "surely her saying that shows this is not sole care". But they are not interested.

The kid is the most important thing in all this, but now I have to go and pick him up tomorrow knowing I have this hanging over me, picking my son up to resume shared care whilst being told its not....

The laughable part is she has shot herself in the foot as she get a measly £12 more a month and also the CSA have said I don't have to pay her this months maintenance as its in dispute, so the CSA said she wants to settle this months as a personal agreement but then go officially into higher money.
 
Thanks mate

Thats what I thought I had, I was paying more than shared care amount and I had my son more than the 52 days a year. Now I still have shared care but I am paying the maximum because the CSA have taken word against word.

Oh well this is the max I will have to pay regardless
 
We had to go to the CSA about my other halves ex, he literally would give money as and when he could be bothered, he now pays a lesser weekly amount but we get it regularly which is what we wanted

He is a scumbag though, he earns brick loads through his roofing business but because he is self employed he quite obviously falsified his income to pay a lower amount, using the calculator he should pay £120 a week but we only get £57, the next review is soon enough so we will see if it changes
 
My friend went through something similar. I've learned a lot through this and the system is totally against any rights for the father.

I would go as far to say fathers have few rights in the eyes of the law here. Think is similar in Australia too.
It's very rare a man can win a ruling in their favour unless their is clear evidence of abuse(talking about any kind of custody a father wishes to have).

I now understand why it's so lucrative to be a single mum. Sorry, can't believe I'm saying this but I've seen first hand how children are used by the mother. Rant over
 
It's outrageous how they favour the mothers.

I mean granted, my wife wanted to have him, gave birth to him, breast fed him, bottle fed him, cared for him, looked after him every day, gave up her social life, wiped up after him, bought him the right nappies, bought him the right food, made him every meal, bought his clothes, got his toys, got him a place at pre-school, dropped him off and picked him up, cared for him every day, soothed his tantrums, suffered through "playing" with toys, read him books, ensured he was safe and happy, gave him baths every night, cooked and cleaned, washing, ironing, folding, putting away, polishing, hoovering, cleaning, paid the bills, got library books, took him to the doctors, probably a thousand things I can't think of. But I sometimes helped and I went to work a little bit more than she did.
 
Bullet said:
It's outrageous how they favour the mothers.

I mean granted, my wife wanted to have him, gave birth to him, breast fed him, bottle fed him, cared for him, looked after him every day, gave up her social life, wiped up after him, bought him the right nappies, bought him the right food, made him every meal, bought his clothes, got his toys, got him a place at pre-school, dropped him off and picked him up, cared for him every day, soothed his tantrums, suffered through "playing" with toys, read him books, ensured he was safe and happy, gave him baths every night, cooked and cleaned, washing, ironing, folding, putting away, polishing, hoovering, cleaning, paid the bills, got library books, took him to the doctors, probably a thousand things I can't think of. But I sometimes helped and I went to work a little bit more than she did.
Click to expand...

If they dont want kids they should keep their knickers pulled up, that is if these young slappers even bother wearing knickers anymore.
 
it's clearly a system based on the lowest common denominator

I'm looking at @Bullet 's list and feeling quite smug about how involved I've been with our two, other than the bits I couldn't do (birthing/breastfeeding) we've had an equal share, I shouldn't though (feel smug that is), I've done no more than my responsibility, I must say to that in my circle of friends it's a similar story, dads are pretty modern these days
 
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I am all for doing what is needed, naturally as his dad I want to and I also want to pay my way, its the done thing for sure.

Just sticks abit when you are being told by the CSA that she is claiming it not to be shared care (52 days) and two days later I pick my son up for a three night stay.

I think some people just really want to hammer home the point...
 
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