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The Definitive Worst Tottenham Eleven

Tottenham Dave

Tottenham Dave

Erik Edman
I think it might be cathartic given our current slump to remind ourselves of just how brick some of our previous teams/players have been, and that actually, at the moment, it ain't all that bad in the scheme of things.

I propose in goal we choose Bobby Mimms.

Pick players for any position you want - left back, winger, striker, no worries - but Bobby Mimms is in goal.

He was bloody useless, gaff after gaff after gaff, I''m sure some of you remember, and I personally especially remember right at the highpoint of his 'reign' being taken by my Dad to Loftus Rd to watch QPR-Spurs, and seeing the ball somehow slip under his grasp only to not have enough power in the shot to even actually hit the net.

Useless git.

I also want Terry Fenwick in there. How he played in a World Cup is beyond me.

I'm a bit skint these days so only get to the Lane a couple of times a year (if I'm lucky), but in the early/mid 90s when I went every week without fail, he was pretty much the figure of fun for the faithful.

Honestly, he was fudging useless.

My abiding memory of him though isn't from the league, or the FA Cup, it's from a weird tournament we had at the Lane with Real Madrid and Inter Milan.

If I remember correctly it was us playing Real for 45 minutes, and playing Inter for 45 mins, and vise versa, then the winners playing each other in a "final"....for 45 minutes.

It was all a bit weird.

Anyway, we played Real in the final (for 45 minutes) and drew 0-0 so it went to pens.

Anyway, the penalties started, and frankly it didn't matter who won, it was all flimflam, but Fenwick came up for the decisive spot kick, and as I stood on the Paxton I swear the "GHod help us all" cry was was audible, people were laughing that he was 'our hope'.

Fenwick ran up......and skied it over the bar, and we lost the most pointless tournament of all time.

You useless bastard.

So I'm definite on Mimms, I'm pretty sure Fenwick should be in too, but there's probably other contenders in defence.

Worst Spurs 11, lets have it.


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I agree with the sentiment, but the Tottenham bashing on GG has reached levels which disgust me. Im actually stunned at some of things Im reading.

So while I agree we've had some serious dross, and are in a great position when you look at the big picture, Im really not in the mood to list a load of ex Spurs, and rip the f#cking sh#t out of them.

This place feels like arsemania at the minute. Thats in no way aimed at you Tottenham Dave, I know you are being positive from the posts of yours Ive read.

Its just that the negativity at the moment is too much to bear already.
 
totman said:
I agree with the sentiment, but the Tottenham bashing on GG has reached levels which disgust me. Im actually stunned at some of things Im reading.

So while I agree we've had some serious dross, and are in a great position when you look at the big picture, Im really not in the mood to list a load of ex Spurs, and rip the f#cking sh#t out of them.

This place feels like arsemania at the minute. Thats in no way aimed at you Tottenham Dave, I know you are being positive from the posts of yours Ive read.

Its just that the negativity at the moment is too much to bear already.
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I understand mate, but the point of this is to remind us of just how good things really are at the minute.

People are moaning, in the main, about being on the cusp of top-4 and in a semi final of the FA Cup, when the truth is, players like.......Jason Cundy have worn our shirt.

This is a perspective one for me.
 
Worst centre forward ive ever seen for spurs was a trialist in the kappa cup in seville his name was dougarry or something anyone remember? me and a few went over got in ground after kick off had no idea who this bloke was playing up front for us he was truely horrific remember getting home still not knowing who he was and thinking the worst that we'd signed him lol had the game recorded on eurosport and rewatched it even the commentators were taking the tinkle anyone know who he was? sure it was dougary or bacary or something?
 
Ha! Yeah I guess it was.

He wasnt great, he never set the world alight and he took some serious stick. I still saw a little something in him though.

Rasiak HAS to be up front. No question.

Robinson (of his last season) deserves a mention, never have I had so little confidence in a keeper (and he so little in himself)

Johnny Jackson on the wing was cringeworthy.

Doherty, cult hero I know, was a joke.

Routledge was awful when he played, totally lost his head - maybe another one too young for the move
 
Bacary rings a bell! I know the one you mean - my he was terrible!

I also remember a preseason game with Qu Bo having a trial. Ill never forget his interview "Just call me Kevin"
 
I used to like Vega, he was brick but totally mental, kind of made up for it a bit

Taricco as well, not the best LB by any means and a dirty little sod - but I kind of admired his attitude
 
Gilberto a strong candidate for left back.
His Europa league performance against Spartak Moscow is easily the worst I've seen live from a professional footballer.
 
Paolo Tramezzani? Chris Perry was poo, although i seem to remember him being the 'stalwart' of our defence when we were proper cack for a period, so i'm probably being a bit harsh. Stuart Nethercott should also be pushing for a starting berth
 
WhoopWhoop said:
Worst centre forward ive ever seen for spurs was a trialist in the kappa cup in seville his name was dougarry or something anyone remember? me and a few went over got in ground after kick off had no idea who this bloke was playing up front for us he was truely horrific remember getting home still not knowing who he was and thinking the worst that we'd signed him lol had the game recorded on eurosport and rewatched it even the commentators were taking the tinkle anyone know who he was? sure it was dougary or bacary or something?
Click to expand...

Can't remember the bloke's name but I remember seeing a comment on here-"He can trap a ball further than I can kick it", made me smile then and has always stuck with me.

EDIT: Dagui Bakari
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